Another scientist disappears…thanks Mr. Harper

It’s official – signed, sealed, delivered.  Marco is starting his new job in Sydney, Australia on January 4, 2016.  Every so often lately, I have to re-read my first blog post, Hummingbird Dreams, to remind myself that it’s all going to be okay.  This week has been a bit rough for some reason.  Maybe it’s the Harper Election Blues.  I am so afraid of waking up on October 20, 2015 to a Conservative government again, which will envelope me in sadness, I believe.  This government, who has created our new reality, who has done so much damage to scientific research in Canada, leaves a burning anger somewhere deep inside our family.  It’s buried beneath an excitement about trying something new and I try so hard to focus on that.  Wow, I’m surprised when that anger surfaces – I forget about it and then, wham!

Last night Marco, Casimir, Marieke and I went to the Take Back the Night protest – so proud of Marieke who was one of the organizers.  Looking around at the 250 people who showed up in the pouring rain to walk the streets in honour of the missing and murdered indigenous girls and women of our own country, again highlighted the total disregard this government has shown its citizens on so many levels.  It’s certainly not just science that has suffered under the Harper regime.  These realizations all feed my anger and I have to work so hard to remain positive.  Tonight, Marco and I went to another event called ‘Vote for the Environment – rebuilding environment laws for a just and sustainable Canada’.  The clawbacks to environment legislation and funding cuts have dramatically endangered our water, fisheries, wildlife and climate.  The panel was excellent, the questions were good, but of course, it was the converted who were in attendance.  I took away something, though, that I will try to focus on over the next while.  Thanks to Darren Courchene,  who reminded us that we can’t use anger to drive change.  We have to let go of that anger and replace it with understanding and compassion and only then will things improve.  So, my hope is that I’ll be able to let the anger that still lingers, go.  I will go back to my Hummingbird Dreams to find that peaceful place, and I’ll try to find a way to make positive change in my life whenever I can.  That means finding the strength to carry not only myself through this journey we’re about to embark on, but to help my family through it as well. I do acknowledge, however, my fear and sadness at the idea of not having Marco close enough to hug.  I’ll just have to snuggle up to one of the cats, pick up my iPad and FaceTime when I’m lonely.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still thrilled that Marco will be doing what he really should be doing and I can’t wait to have the opportunity to travel again and explore new places. And when I’m not traveling, thanks, all you techie geeks for developing these fantastic survival tools for long distance relationships. I owe you one.